Forgotten Draft

So, I was looking through my blog & I realized I had written this (I don't really remember doing so), and I decided I might as well post it, seeing as it's got nothing better to do.
(btw, it's two different poems)

I once made a bracelet
It was colorful and bright
It got old and faded
On my wrist it's too tight.



One day I found myself hit by a freight train
And the headlight seemed to have blinded me
I wondered around confused where to go
And I gathered with the masses
But to no avail, because I left myself at the trainwreck
I'm going back to find it
And home

Glowing Monkeys in Japan

Today is May 28th, 2009.

After today, I will never be able to say that again. I'll be able to look back and remember this day, but what will I remember?

..Is there anything worth remembering about today?
Not for me.
For me, today is the empty pasture blending into the barren sky. Today is the movement of the second hand running around aimlessly in circles. Today is the person you walked by today that you didn't even see, and never will for the rest of your life. Today is a progression of the crevasses soon to be carved into my youth and the silver threads to be sewn into the walls of my upstairs.
But, that's just me.
This day will be chiseled into minds.
"Today is the day ...

I married the love of my life."

I gave birth to my wonderful child."

I finally filed for a divorce."

I was told my toddler isn't going to make it."


Today will grant an epiphany, today will damage a brain.
It will will wreck a car, and grow a flower.
Today is memorable, forgettable.
Powerful, weak.
Present
past.

It's finally time, time for our victory match
Assembled to be, just one left turn
The matchbox tires spin out on the welcome mat
And firemen are tired men, who can't put out the rug burn

You should listen to A Penny Loafer Saved Is a Penny Loafer Earned by Relient K. That song makes me happy.

Anyway

I don't know.. I'm feeling a little alone right now. I'm not really sure why.... I'm just a little down right now =[

I want to go somewhere else. Really far away.

Hm.

Kind of weird,















My birthday's tomorrow.

Happy birthday Emily.



Well, there's nothing left to say.

Run through it

Jump over it

Fly over it

Consume it

but

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

MMMMMMMMMM...................................MMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMM...........................MMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMM.......MMMM....................MMMM.......MMMMMM
MMMMMM...........MMMM............MMMM...........MMMMMM
MMMMMM...............MMMM....MMMM...............MMMMMM
MMMMMM...................MMMMMMM...................MMMMMM
MMMMMM.......................MMMMM......................MMMMMM
MMMMMM................................................................MMMMMM
MMMMMM................................................................MMMMMM
MMMMMM................................................................MMMMMM

can not

:THINK:

:THINK:

:THINK:

:THINK:

:THINK:

days keep flying by

they're snails as I live through them

how come snails sprout wings?

Today I am . . . ?

What will I be today? I sit wondering, staring at the lacking title.

A teenage girl. Just a girl, swimming through the glop of adolescence. No, that's what I am every day.

A candle. Slowly burning, giving insufficient light and setting fingers of the weak-minded ablaze, until I slowly putter out into nonexistence. No, I don't think I want to be that today.

A Sim. Created for the sole purpose of being controlled under a cruel and underdeveloped mind ruling over my family in a tyranny that gives the dictator a pleasure not unlike a disease, slowly stealing all the time and energry from its host. No, I hardly want to believe that of my life.

A morning glory. A flower, closed until the dawn of a new day, when I unfold into a beautiful visual song that I sing for anyone to hear, rejoicing in the fresh start of a new day. No, I am unequivocally and unmistakably not the type who sings out the glories of early morning.

A student. Hardworking and willing to do the work set out for me that enables me to better grasp the subject of which I is learning. ..Are you kidding me?



I am none of these today.

But what am I?

My fingers search listlessly over each letter on my keyboard, looking at least for a syllable- a starting letter- to describe what I am.

I am burdened to the point of claustrophobia over this. The neutral tan walls surrounding my text give me hardly any room to breath, as each letter I press builds up the strength to push down one more line for my ponderings.

What if no one truly knows what I am? Is there no one I could go to for the answer?
Is there no decrepit old man awaiting my arrival at the top of a mountain, holding the answer to my life?

I am becoming desperate. What of Google? Surely not only can it find every other answer in life, but multiple answers so you can choose what best fits your world view. But the results are only riddles, and the answers are but simple and childish answers.

What am I today?